Shame on You

The following article is an excerpt of the pedagogical materials that the Ljubljana Puppet Theatre prepares for each performance for children. The materials serve as an extension of pre- and post-performance discussions between school groups and their teachers. This excerpt is part of the material that accompanied the performance Shame on You (2022), which took place as part of ConnectUp and was written by Benjamin Zajcand Bruno Moreira with the help of teenagers Sofija Lavrač Črnivec and Nina Koritnik, who were also involved in the creation of the performance.

 

Shame on You is a performance with endless scrolling and the generation of content, avatars, emojis, trap, stand-up, music videos and stories that searches for a space without shame at the intersection of the virtual, fairy tale and the present. By experimenting with the formats and language of social media, deeply rooted feelings of shame, the pervasive shaming and shamelessness of others are addressed. Using original material from a young creative team, the project explores when and how shame arises, the ways in which it is reproduced and whether we can overcome it at all.

 

 

Most of our feelings can be traced back to reactions to certain situations or events, which can be pleasant or unpleasant. When these situations or events pass, the feelings associated with them usually disappear. Emotions are generally fleeting. Shame is different. Shame is characterised by a constant awareness of our perceived faults. Therefore, we can quickly fall into the trap of shame-based thinking. This can lead us to focus more on our few perceived failures than on our many successes. Our thoughts can become filled with regrets, judgements and predictions about future failures. People who are overwhelmed by feelings of shame (which are usually accompanied by feelings of guilt) are at higher risk of depression, anxiety and a range of other mental health problems. It is generally accepted that most people who have feelings of shame are not at increased risk for violent behaviour or aggression.

One of the greatest fears we face when we are ashamed is the stares of others or the public exposure of a “shameful” act. This fear has intensified with the rise of social media. But public shaming is not a new concept. Public humiliation and punishment are universal human behaviours that have always existed in society. But with the advent of the internet and the use of social media for shaming, this bad behaviour has taken on a whole new dimension. With online shaming, people engage in social shaming on a much larger scale and in a more organised way, and the public punishment has greater consequences for those involved than ever before.

THEATRE LABORATORY LGL

 

The Theatre Laboratory of the Ljubljana Puppet Theatre is a project that introduces young people to the world of theatre production. Every year, young talented artists are selected through auditions and spend several months working on a new theatre production under the guidance of an experienced director and experts. The Lab has produced four plays so far: Brainstorm (2018), The Right to be Human (2019), The Yellow Moon(2020) and Everything is Alright (2021).

 

The process of producing Shame on You began with a months-long workshop with teenagers in collaboration with the Dschungel Wien in Vienna. During the workshops, the creative team worked with the teenagers to conceptualise the essence of the theme of shame, which then fed into the second, conceptual part of the creative process, in which the extended team developed an intermedia performance.

 

SUPERPOWERS

 

At the beginning of the show, the production team asked you to choose one superpower you would have if you could. The answer to this question then determined which land of shame you would visit.

 

It is in the nature of humans (and other intelligent animals) to have imagination. This means that we imagine a desired goal and then create a fantasy in which we achieve it. For example, when a rabbit sees celery, it imagines that it will eat it, and this allows it to develop a strategy, such as jumping across a field to reach the celery, its goal. Humans want to achieve things for themselves and their loved ones, and as social animals they also want the admiration of their peers. Among the ways we can achieve these desirable outcomes are traits that make us better at our jobs – including skills like greater strength, tougher skin, etc. Some of these skills can be acquired to some degree. We can become better archers by training, better fighters by training and strengthening our muscles.

 

Other abilities cannot be achieved in a simple way, but they can be imagined. For example, when we see a bird fly, we can imagine that we can fly and what we would do if we could – fly from place to place, impress our friends, etc. These desired abilities become the object of our fantasies. In our fantasies we imagine that we have the means to achieve our desired goals – admiration, wealth, victory, partners. They are often unrealistic or exaggerated, but they all have the same purpose – to motivate us to achieve a goal.

 

SHAME AS AN UMBRELLA TOPIC

 

Shame as a theme of performance is difficult to isolate or present in such a way that it exists on its own. Shame is always connected to other personal and social situations with which it is linked. To say that shame is the central theme of the production would therefore be an understatement. The shame portrayed by the artists is linked to the environment in which they grew up and live.

 

Feelings of shame often also lead to feelings of guilt, the need to shame and punish oneself. One of the most important guilt factors that society instils in young people is guilt about their sexuality and sexual orientation.

 

Two texts by Nina Koritnik and Sofija Lavrač Črnivec,.

We all feel shame, that is a fact. And this shame is a feeling that has nothing to do with us… that is also a fact. When I was given the task of writing something about shame in my youth, a million questions popped into my head, such as: Why does shame exist, does it even make sense? Well, I can tell you that I have no idea myself, but all I know is that it can be very limiting and practically traps us in the frame we draw for ourselves in our own little minds. Shame is a great fear of our surroundings and of the opinions of other people who are most likely not interested in our lives at all. We feel guilty and would prefer to hide under a rock and never show our face to the world again. I will only say this much: it is human to make mistakes! But how to explain that to us, teenagers, who are just learning how to live and have no idea how life works (in fact, most adults probably do not either)? We are surrounded by posts on the internet that say: ” YOLO” or “live your life” and the like, we are constantly surrounded by adverts on every social network imaginable telling us how to live a better, more comfortable, higher quality life, we look at posts from our peers about how they are out having fun with their friends every day while we are at home, locked in our room with the last packet of crisps, hunched over the table because our phone is charging and our cable is too short to lie on the bed. We are constantly worrying about how we are supposed to look good in front of society and how we are supposed to live the perfect life that all our friends are living… or at least we think we are. Yet we do not even realise that the most important thing is ourselves and we still do not understand that the only person we will be with for the rest of our lives is ourselves and only us. There are many moments that we would like to forget and that we believe can only happen to us. We think that everything has to be perfect right away and that if we fail, we are incompetent. We all have them… probably quite a few… but it seems to me that the more we talk about these things and the more open we are with each other, the quicker we will realise that maybe we are not the only ones. And yes, the show is different and different from others. It is a performance after which no one will leave the auditorium saying “Wow, that’s a beautiful story”, but it is a performance that teaches us something. It teaches us how to overcome shame and face it. Sometimes it just helps to know that you are not the only one and that there are people who have had similar things happen to them, maybe even the same thing. It touches on all kinds of issues that are relevant in this time… and I do not mean our time, as we are young now, I am talking about OUR TIME, the time of the 21st century. The fact that part of the show takes place on the internet – on phones – and thus shows us the way of life today is a very good example of our time, but at the same time it is a constant reminder of the unreality of the virtual world and the toxicity of social networks. I think the show will change many people’s view of shame and today’s society in general. The society we live in.

 

Sofija Lavrač Črnivec (participants in the LGL Theatre Lab)

Sram. Shame. Solitude. Loneliness.

Even if you pay me, I will never go to a restaurant alone, or to the theatre alone, or to the cinema alone, or to the bus alone, or to the plane alone, or to the train alone, or to the café alone, or to Ikea alone, or to the museum alone, or to the gallery alone, or to the wedding alone, or to the dance alone, or to the post office alone, or to the bank alone, or to the doctor alone, or to the vaccination alone, or to the hotel alone, or to the party alone, or to the bar alone, or to the disco alone, or to the market alone, or to the open kitchen alone, or to the swimming alone, or to the skiing alone, or to the skating alone, or to the outing alone, or to the holiday alone.

 ‘Would you please come with me?’ ‘With you? Why?’

Because I am infinitely ashamed. I am ashamed of being alone and looking up in the air and waiting. I do not know what to do with my hands, but them in my pockets, at my side, crossed on my chest, in my coat, on my thighs, hugged, free on my body? What about my hands? Are they not touching, folded, together, apart, front, back, bottom, top, open, closed? Should I be serious, should I laugh, what if I have nothing to laugh about and no reason to be serious? What is man like when he does not think? But is it less strange when I am in the background? Or is it even stranger? You see, I just do what I have to do quickly and that’s it. But actually, that’s not true. What about in between? Right now I am still alone and I can not, I can not. I am ashamed of my stares, of turning my head to look for familiar faces, I am ashamed of looking at the clock every five seconds because I want this thing to go away, I am ashamed of the silence, I am ashamed of everything. I can not shake this unpleasant feeling, this s(r)amot. Imagine, for example, that I am walking alone in a museum, looking at an exhibition. So I can not say anything to anyone. Then suddenly. I open my mouth and a few words escape. Say: ‘Wow, what a beautiful girl that is painted! It’s as if a whole room full of people turn around and look at me at the same time. I can hear my heart beating, pulse rising from one second to the next. They are all staring at me. Slowly they start shaking their heads. I hear soft words in my head. ‘Could you have done that?’ ‘Who did you say that to?’ ‘I can not believe it!’ ‘My goodness, you did not!’ I swallow my saliva and look more closely at the people. There are two of them. ‘Oh, no! They are all in pairs! So they all have someone. Who do I have? I tilt my head because the moment hurts too much. I am shaking. And not for the first time. It’s the same every time. Look at her, she’s on the bus and shaking, she’s watching a show and shaking, she’s shaking in the shop, in the bar, in the post office, in the street, in the park, in the swimming pool. Stop it! Come on! Shake! I can not, I am sorry, I can not. Because I think too much. We are meant to be together. You are supposed to have a person who’s your safety net. You know that I do not have that person. And that I am alone. Alone. Alone! Sa-ma! My head begins to reverberate, I breathe harder, my smile disappears. The worst thing is that there is no one to help me. I can not ask anyone what to do now, I can not hug anyone, I can not hide in their arms, forget the world around us and feel close and safe. There is no one to be my safety net at this moment. Who will help me? No one. Because. I am. Alone. And I am ashamed of that. –

Nina Koritnik (participant in the LGL Theatre Lab)